BlameThePixel!

Gather round children. Let me tell you a tale...

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Beep beep. Beep beep.
'Rise and shine folks! It's 6:00 a.m. and looking mighty fine outside! Isn't that right Rob?'
There was a small moan from the lump of mass under the bed covers that could only be assumed to be a person, and a hand reached out and tapped on the clock radio.
BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.
Which was a great success, assuming of course that the goal had in fact been to make the alarm louder.
'…sure is Brad! Not a single cloud to cover what is surely a blue sky that would put other blue skies to shame, not only in its sheer blueness, but also…'
Another moan, and safe to say this one was a few notches higher in volume than the first. The hand made a second appearance, closed up in a fist this time around, and was brought down on the innocent little clock radio with considerable force.
BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.
'…funny that you bring that up Rob, cause I must say, it's not often that the sun is shining so brightly at this time of day!'
'You're completely right there Brad! You know, it kind of reminds me of when I was on holiday in Florida last summer…'
BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.
There was a sudden bang and a bullet ripped through the quilt, pinged off the bedside lamp, and collided with the clock radio.
'Score!' said the lump of mass.
BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.
The indestructible clock radio.
There was a whiff of smoke from the gun holster, followed by barely coherent mumblings mainly comprising of hunting down the clock radio's family and butchering every last one of them, only with rather more swearing.
BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.
For four minutes he listened to the infernal beeping of the alarm. For four minutes he cringed at Rob recounting what seemed to be every single mind-numbingly boring moment of his holiday. For the first two of those four minutes he was somewhat wishing he had gone to the toilet before he went to bed the previous evening.
It felt like four minutes and twenty seven seconds.
'…sum it all up, it was pretty damn sunny Brad!'
BEEP BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Snap. You could actually hear his last threads of sanity breaking away. In a rush of fury he leaped out of bed, grabbed the clock radio and tossed it out the window.
Bounce.
'OW!'
The indestructible window.
He rubbed his leg, wincing from the pain. 'What the hell is wrong with this place! I swear, I feel like-'
BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.
'…fascinating report on grass growing at 7, but until then, enjoy the easy listening hour!'
His head exploded. Literally. It was actually quite a funny scene, what with all the spaghetti-like brain matter flying everywhere, providing you didn't know the guy. Unfortunately, the person who stepped into the room right as it happened was, in fact, his roommate Josh.
'Holy cow!' he exclaimed and rushed over to his body. 'Are you ok?'
Now, some people might be inclined to think this was a rather silly question considering previously mentioned brain matter was no longer contained in previously mentioned head. But that’s Josh for you, ever the optimist.
BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.
'…all going on a, summer holiday…'
'This looks pretty bad, we gotta get you to a hospital man,' he said and tried to pick up his roommates body. This should have been fairly easy as it was no longer weighed down by his huge ego, but Josh's muscle power is most easily compared to that of a stick insect, so it wasn't long before he gave up and collapsed on the floor, sweating and exhausted.
'Whoo! Not as easy as it looks. Oh well, I tried my best, it'll probably just heal on its own anyway.'
BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.
'…where the seeeaaa is bluuee…'
'Huh, he left his alarm clock on.'
He grabbed it and turned the switch on the top to "Off", then got up and strolled out of the room whistling.
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So, the moral of the story is to not explode. Because, you know, nobody wants to have to clean that up.

u really think ill read THAT???

It's not very long you lazy bugger.

Not that I'm lazy... but it really does seem epic.
Edit: Yeah I only went to the 4th BEEP BEEP

damn that BEEP BEEP.

It killed a man. Was the alarm clock broken in such a way where the snooze button made the alarm clock LOUDER? And it seems like the alarm clock was kind of broken because a clock radio normally doesn't beep beep beep at the same time as when the radio plays.

omg i read it! I READ IT! *headache*

Why can't it be like the deaf and they have vibrating pillows? O_o

nooo he quoted again!

Duuuh! Coz yur stupid. xP
And you dun listen to yur alarm clock *duhu*
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So is Rob the news man?