BlameThePixel!

My second ever story. Not my best but something good to start off with I hope you like it. The next chapter will be added in a few days.

:::::A TRIFLE TOO STRANGE:::::
“Mum, I need to go-“
“No, Tom!�
“But mum! I’m bursting-“
“Tom, I don’t care if your kidneys explode, you will sit here until your father and I have finished our meal.�
“But mum!� retorted Tom. “This is agony!�
“Tom! Shut up and let us finish our meal!�
This was totally unfair to Tom, but he shut up anyway. Most of the other customers in the restaurant were watching their table with mild amusement. It didn’t help that their table was conveniently situated in the centre of the room.
He hadn’t even wanted to go. He had other plans with friends. They were all going to see “Blood Bath III, The Mass Slaughtering.� But his mother happened to arrange a family evening out to a posh restaurant at exactly the same time as the movie. The only thing that even resembled blood here was the gravy from his dad’s beef that had mixed with the cranberry sauce meant for his brussel sprouts. There was a small pool of the stuff covering his plate which he occasionally dipped bits of food in before putting it in his mouth and chewing greedily with a lush squelching sound. This, however, did not help Tom’s state. He started to shift uneasily and concentrated all his energy in keeping most of it inside his body.
“Tom! Stop fidgeting!�
He didn’t even bother replying. The musicians at one end of the restaurant were coming to the end of their long boring composure. Next to them was the bar, with all the interesting liquor and liquids…
Tom swivelled his eyes away from the bar and pushed that thought from his head. His eyes landed on the door to the toilets. It was on an elevated bit of floor separated from the eating area by a small wooden wall. Steps led up to a gap in the wall and straight to the toilet door. A lot of work seemed to have gone into the door. The handle was a shiny bronze and swirling patterns had been carved into it. Around the frame the wood was also carved in the same way. In fact this was the way the whole restaurant had been done. It seemed a stupid waste of time to Tom since no one seemed to take much notice of the decoration having all their concentration on the food and maybe an odd remark of “mmm� and a satisfied nod or two.
The orchestra began to play Swan Lake. Tom tried to block out the familiar music from his ears and failed miserably. If anything he had managed to amplify it. He felt woozy and the place seemed to slow down. He watched his dad slowly but loudly pick up his wine glass and take an age long sip that sounded more like someone finishing off a milkshake with a straw. The swallowing was the worst. It was a loud squelching, sucking sound. He couldn’t bear it. A voice from nearby shouted “I need to go! Now!� and everything went back to normal with a sudden jerk. By the astonished faces of the customers around him he could tell that the voice had come from him. 50 pairs of eyes pierced straight through him with an astonished glair. Tom’s body started to boil as if it were in an oven. His cheeks grew as red as his dad’s cranberried gravy. His parents were staring at him in absolute horror and a half chewed chunk of meat escaped from his father’s open mouth only to land with a splosh onto his plate.
There was only one thing for it. Tom slid off his decorative chair and onto the floor and walked the most embarrassing 50 feet of his life. Not even the musicians were playing and Tom thought he even caught a mocking grin on the conductors face. He reached the brass handle and turned it. The door slid open smoothly without a sound. Tom walked in and shut the door behind him. The familiar murmur of the restaurant started up again.
Tom’s eyes were suddenly hit with a brilliant white light. He closed them and looked away before trying to open them to get used to it. As they adjusted he could make out whiteness. Except some of the whiteness seemed closer than other bits in the form of shapes. It looked as if a row of spotless white sinks were on one side and a row of toilets on the other. In the middles was a white machine with labels that stood out in the white gleam saying “medium latex� and “large ribbon�. IT took a while for Tom to notice it was a condom dispenser.
Very carefully Tom inched his way to the cubicles, his bladder feeling as if it wanted to jump out of his skin. Tom pushed the door open and didn’t bother to close it.
Gary Jobson was a waiter for a very posh restaurant. He liked his job because nothing strange ever happened. Well, it did sometimes, like a moment ago a teenager shouted out something quite arrogant and walked off to the bathroom, but apart from that his life was normal and he liked it. Reflecting on this, he selected one of the many red wines in all placed neatly in their alcoves from behind the bar, took two spotless glasses out from underneath the bar top and put them all on an eccentrically detailed tray. Picking this up he walked around the raised platform to the small set of stairs leading to the main eating area. Passing the toilets, he put one foot onto the top step and was suddenly shocked into dropping all four objects onto the floor. A large smash was followed by the man toppling down the stairs and landing in a puddle of sweet smelling red wine. What shocked him was a loud “AAHHHHHHOOOOORRRRAAAGGHHHHHYEEEEAAAAAHHHH� coming from the toilets. It sounded like nothing Gary had ever heard before and it was still going on to the great surprise of the customers, having stopped their babbling because of Gary and his little performance.
Tom stood there, head against the opposite wall, leaning over the toilet, groaning as the pain poured away. It was like a heaven after the tremendous torture. He flushed the toilet and walked slowly across the clean white floor to the sinks. He got half way across the room when he noticed that something was very wrong. He was almost certain that the only colour other than light was the colour of the labels on the condom vendor. There seemed to be a strange source of yellow light. It illuminated the taps in front of him apart from where he was standing which left a Tom shaped whiteness over the sink. He spun around and was greeted with a brilliant light coming from inside the cubicle he was in. This frightened him into thinking that his own pee seemed to be luminescent. Yet he had flushed it away…
Tom carefully retraced his steps to the door and pushed the cubicle door open a crack. This was a very bad mistake. An invisible hand grabbed at his blond hair and pulled his whole head into the cubicle. He felt very light as if he had no body. The yellow light was everywhere and he seemed to be rushing very fast in some unknown direction. Something large solid and heavy hit him and his body seized up. This was lucky since he had chosen that time to try some swearing.

Oh noes. What will happen to little Tommy next?
Seriously, well done with that story. I look forward to the next chapter.

4.5/5 stars from Glenn.

Thats a good rating from you Glenn

Id have posted the next chapter with itbut next chapter but it needs a hell of a lot of rephrasing.

Yes, very well done indeed.
You seem to like onomatopoeias.

Cool story, when's the next bit.

Heh, ths new forum can come in handy it seems

My GOD you spelt it correctly! And its not the only type of writing I like.

Part 2 will come when I am sure it is worthy enough to be posted. Until then, you'll just have to occupy yourself. Picking the fluff out of your belly button keeps you busy

wow, well I normally start reading these things and get bored, but it made me read on.

Well written and v. vivid....

No, I will occupy my self by re-reading it your writing.

Im a little unsure about this next chapter but we'll see how it goes.

______________________________
Tom groaned. It was a while before he could sit up without throwing up but he managed it. His eyes focused onto the posh dinner he had had, although it looked more like a soup than a roast dinner now. Forced to move by the immense heat, he crawled into the shade of what seemed to be wall, and cracked his head open on something cold and hard. Looking up, he concluded that he was still a bit delirious and what he hadn’t saw was a massive cube, about ten times the size of a large man. Standing back to get a better look, Tom saw a perfectly shaped cube. It was as smooth as if it had been polished, gleaming in the strong sunlight. There were absolutely no joints or riveted corners and seemed to be one large sheet of shiny metal. Tom was not expecting to find anything like this in the middle of the desert. He felt utterly confused to how he had got here and what the hell a hunk of metal was doing next to him. Accumulating a strong, hot headache, he sat down in the burning heat of the cube’s shade and wandered what to do. He leaned back on the coolness of the metal and found himself begging for the slightest sign of liquid to clench his thirst and wash his dry, sandy mouth.
After what seemed like hours, a feeling of unsettling strangeness crossed his mind. Something was wrong, apart from the fact that he had jumped from the poshest restaurant in the district to one hell of a desert. With a sigh of annoyance he leaned his head onto the cool metal to help him think. The heat was unbearable, even in the shade, and his sweat had long ago evaporated before it could cool him down. Three times now the thought that he was going to die soon had crossed his mind and thrice he had pushed it away and tried to think of something else.
With a jump of surprise he noticed for the first time that the metal was cool. His heart leapt like a frog and instinctively jumped back. This, he decided was silly and quickly pushed his body flat onto the metal. It was relieving but not enough. He knew he had to find the source of this strange occurrence. Digging was impossible. The sand was too fine and dry to dig through as it would only just fall back in place and he gave up on the first try purely because of exhaustion. He dared not to walk around the cube because it meant leaving the shade, which was an oven anyway. Sighing with annoyance he sat back down, back against the cube and yelped as something sharp jabbed him in the small of his back. Rubbing the place of contact vigorously in the hope that it would sooth it he looked at the victim. It was a tap.

Uh... wow. Adjectives. o_O You're twice the writer I'll ever be. Nice job on the story. Poor lil' Tommykins.

(Yes, I'm rushing to post #1000, to truly and once and for all show I have no life)

That's a rather poor sentence. If anything, throwing up should at least be replaced with puking for better sentence flow.

Other than that, another fine chapter in the continuing saga of Tommy Boy.

thnikk.. you have your posts.. yay for you.
Why was bob banned??

Im not even aware I was banned and would have gone on writing happily in the forums if Keeper hadnt alerted me.


Ah ok, Ill do something about that in the origanal. Thanks for telling me.

Replace "throwing up" with "blowing chunks." It'll give the reader more empathy for Tommy, as the reader will probably feel like doing that him/herself...
(pay no attention)

That not only takes away from the experience, but it's also going to be confusing to anyone that doesn't have a clue what "blowing chunks" means. Nice try though...