BlameThePixel!

Why are here? What is the reason that people suffer? It hurts so much... Sigh... The pain felt in my heart is the worst imaginable. So great, that i wonder, what would the world be like if i had never existed? Not an easy question to ponder... When I ponder this question, aren't l really asking, "do the rare, happy emotions in life compansate for the cataclismicly, nearly constant sadness and pain?" That'you see, is the question i've been endlesly asking myself, thinking of both sides of the issue. I haven't reached any decision pertaing to this question of life, and therefore am only alive due to logic: if living turns out to have been the wrong choice, then it is easily correctable; while it is not as simple to correct my mistake if i had chosen not to live. Not a very optimistic view of life, but then again, anyone who can have an optimmistic view after being in love is either retarded or dillusional. Even if you "remain friends," all that really means is that you'll act normal, rather try to act normal(and fail), further increasing your feelings of self-worthlessness as you try unsuccessfully to distance yourself and your feelings from whomever you stupidly fell in love with. Why don't we have control over our own feelings? It almost is like "God", if he exists, decided to specificly torture us with powerful emotions that we just cant control. Sort of a "ok, have emotions - see how much THEY do for you!" type of mentality. So, is the whole of life just an evil tortureous experience, like God's evil matrix? If so, is the re a matrix where we aren't tortured by our feelings? How do we get there, and why aren't we already there?

My emotions play with my mind. I can't think straight, I can't apply to colleges, I can't do any thing at all without thinking of my immense, shattered eelings. Sometimes I wonder, why don't I take the risk of making the wrong choice? Why don't I just end my suffering? Why don't I put myself back in control? Each time i think about it, it becomes closer to reality. The only two things stopping me are my friends and my fear of choosing wrong. Lately, however, these safety railings have begun to loosen... I feer that soon I will make the decision... I have already began to grow unexpectedly generous... These signs, and near-constant depression, seem to be early signs... I need help,but those who can help have problems of theier own...

uh...

dont comit suicide and buy a bike. a proper beast of a bike. Go out into the woods and build the perfect jump spot. Make a hut and a campsite. Make drainage systems and massive tabletops. A huge gap jump with a fire in the gap. And a big downhill area + slalom race.

Ill meet you there and escape what you described. Its called life

it was to big and i couldnt be botherered reading all of it but anyway:

YOU ARE WEIRD, DONT BE DUMB..
I hate stupid depressed people that moan and groan and say "Ohhh.. Life is so crap.. i think ill sucide". If you cant handle it.. go sucide.. no one will really care anyway, at least not me. Just get on with life....

If it wasn't for the family and friends that I'd leave behind, if it was easy to escape, then I'd escape too. The solution to your problem and to mine is to stop struggling against the current, just let the river of destiny take you wherever it chooses to flow. I don't care what happens tomorrow, I don't care what happened yesterday, I just get up each day and take it for what it is. The things I enjoy are basically the only things I care about or look forward to, they'll never let me down. I think the purpose of life is to do things you enjoy, better that than to be depressed about silly things all the time, always remember it will mean nothing when you're gone... when the Earth is gone... when the Universe is gone. Just enjoy it while it's here.

Madknifa don't be so mean. You don't know what it's like to suffer from depresion. I had it and I think I still have it. I can't go out without thinking of being scared of the next person to come round the corner but once i do get out it isnt so bad. When things get bad you suffer from withrawal and start to self harm.

Anyway, saddened go to your local doctors surgery/GP and tell them that you think you're suffering from deppression. They might tell you to go see a psychologist or something.

That's what i'm doing. I'm slowly getting my confidence back.

Its the way I am.. I like flaming people.. anyway I know it was pretty harsh, sorry

Thanks Bloopy & Spaz...

ya i agree with bloopy. And to u madknifa..go FUCK URSELF UP THE ASS WITH A STICK SUVED DOWN UR FUCKEN THROAT AND I HOPE U FUCKEN CHOKE TO DEATH WHILE RAPING URSELF UP THE ASS!

pleasent

indeed..can u just picture it?

Calm down C1, each to their own...

But i agree with SPAZ, depression isn't jsut a feeling, it's a known condition and can be treated. No need to be so emotionless knifa.